Sometimes the love and grace that I often extend to others I don’t always extend to my husband.
Buried beneath all the pain of past hurts, past broken promises, past unforgiveness, are the resemblance of my broken heart.
Which often-times manifest itself in the things that I say about my husband.
The things I do for my husband.
The way I treat my husband.
My actions towards my husband.
And sometimes they are exhibited unfairly.
I admit that more often than not my actions are unwarranted.
But let me be clear, he isn’t perfect, far from it, but neither am I.
No perfect people here!
We both have things we need to change within ourselves, within our hearts, and within our minds.
And more importantly there are things we need to surrender to God.
I often think about how God views my responses, my words, my actions, and even, my thoughts towards my husband.
I’m certain He isn’t pleased, but mercifully understands my pain.
Even in the midst of pain and immense suffering often attributed by the hands of others, aren’t we supposed to forgive?
Didn’t the Lord say in His Holy Word that we are to forgive others as we were forgiven?
Why do I hold on so tightly to resentment?
Why do I allow the enemy to continue to steal my joy?
Why do I allow the enemy to hold so tightly to my bruised heart with a force so tight that only God can release his grip?
Even when I see my husband trying, I find myself questioning his sincerity, which quickly diminishes his efforts.
But then there are times when I see that he isn’t trying very hard.
When hints of past hurts are blatantly splashed across my face.
When words are thrown at me like a twirling knife, tumbling through the air that cuts deep within my heart and soul.
Then I ask God how am I supposed to surrender our marriage over to Him when every evidence of restoration isn’t often visible?
Do I hurt?
Do I want to forgive?
Is it possible to forgive?
I have to ask the question again, have I honestly surrendered our marriage into the hands of the Lord?
I thought I had.
When I think I have surrendered, I must surrender more!
Why do I often allow myself to continue to condemn my husband?
We all know the answer to that, right!
I’m unpleasantly aware that the enemy would like nothing more than to destroy our marriage.
He will stop at nothing to accomplish his goal.
In fact that’s his ultimate goal.
To steal, kill and destroy by whatever means possible.
He will even go as far as to use manipulation.
He will manipulate my mind into believing his lies and focusing on things that aren’t true.
And in effect when I act on them, I have failed myself, I have failed my husband, And I have failed God.
How do I combat the fiery darts that are relentlessly thrown at me?
Do I continue to trust in my own self will and abilities or do I trust in God?
So, I’ll ask myself the question again, have I truly surrendered it all over to Him?
Admittedly, not fully.
One moment I’m laying it all at His feet and the next I’m picking it back up again.
Do I want to fully surrender?
Yes, so very desperately!
I’m desperate for the Lord to be the center of our marriage union.
I’m desperate for restoration in our marriage.
I’m desperate for healing in our marriage.
I’m desperate for transformation in our marriage.
I’m desperate for forgiveness in our marriage.
I’m desperate for soundness in our marriage.
I’m desperate for unity in our marriage.
I’m desperate for peace in our marriage.
I’m desperate for the Lord to be the foundation of our marriage.
I’m desperate for everything the Lord has to give us in regards to our marriage.
It is the cry of my wounded heart.
Can we ever get to that place?
Can we ever move past the brokenness?
We don’t have to be broken together do we?
Can’t we be whole together?
Can’t we find completeness in Christ, together?
Is life hard?
Is marriage hard?
I’m not the first to admit it, am I ?
Then what do we do?
How do we proceed?
Do we give up?
Do we throw in the towel so to speak?
Do we say we’re done?
Giving up on each other isn’t the solution.
We keep pressing onward.
We keep putting one foot in front of the other.
We keep praying and seeking the face of God.
We continue to put our trust over our marriage into the hands of God.
We cry out to Him when we need Him.
We continually ask God to help us.
We continually ask Him to show us ways that we can do better.
We continually ask Him to show us how we can become a better spouse to one another.
We continually ask Him to reveal those things that we need to change within ourselves.
We continually ask Him to show us the areas where we are failing each other and how to improve on them.
Will we fall short?
Yes, at times we may.
Does God expect us to always get it all right?
He knows that as long as we walk in this freshly body that we will have trouble, trials, tribulation,temptation, affliction, and the list goes on.
But I have found assurance in these two words…
But God promises to be with us.
But God promises to walk with us.
But God promises to comfort us.
But God promises to lead us.
But God promises to instruct us.
But God promises to guide us.
But God promises to teach us.
But God promises to direct us in the lessons we can learn from Scripture that will show us how we can exemplify the marriage union after His will for us.
But God promises to reveal in us how important it is to build our marriage on a strong foundation on the things of God.
But God promises to convey the significance of being patient, kind and loving with our spouses, and to show us how to be attentive, avoid resentment, anger, blame, jealousy, or becoming indifferent or boastful in our own achievements.
But God promises to remind us of our obligation to our spouses to be thoughtful, respectful, and forgiving towards one another.
But God promises that when we resolve to put Him first in every aspect, and at the center of our marriage, with our dependence fully in Him and Him alone, we can and will overcome anything, even our marriages.
But God promises in our willingness to surrender our lives, heart and marriages over to Him, then He can and will bless the marriage union in ways one could never have imagined.
But God promises that …“We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37 NKJV)
When all seems impossible, there is always… But God!
When all feels hopeless, there is always… But God!
When all appears lost, there is always… But God!
When all looks unrepairable, there is always… But God!
But God … is the good news of God Almighty, Himself.
It’s His answer to every challenge,every situation, every difficulty,every sadness,every burden,every adversity to mention a few.
The enemy doesn’t have the final word concerning our marriage, But God… does!
It’s time to armor up!
In His Love,
Copyright © 2021 Tina Unsell Seamon All Rights Reserved