When I think about all that I have been through.. All the pain, all the heartache, and all the suffering.. Nights of tear soaked pillows.. All the mistakes I have made.. And will make.. Feeling like a failure.. In everything… Never quite measuring up.. Defeat etched into my mind.. Self worth all but diminished.. Feeling abandoned.. Unloved..
I am comforted by the assurance that…Through it all.. God was there..
Even now… I have immense battles that I am desperately trying to conquer.. Enormous struggles that no one knows about.. Trying hard not to be what everyone else wants me to be.. But, to just…be me.. Longing for the wisdom.. And for strength to make wise decisions.. Reaching, but never quite grasping what I was created to be.. Wanting desperately to be freed from the toxic relationships that bind me..
Through it all… Even Still… God is there…Seeing my through..
Though my life isn’t what I had hoped it would be.. I have never given up.. I will never give up.. Taking each day as a lesson.. Watching, waiting, trusting, seeking and learning all that God is teaching me along this journey.. Holding nothing back and laying it all at His feet.. Letting go.. Allowing Him to teach me.. To lead me.. To guide me.. Filling me with His wisdom.. His strength.. His courage.. Helping me to face each day anew.. Loving me as His precious child.. Renewing my mind, soul and spirit with His Truth.. Instilling in me a new found confidence to rise above the challenges and the struggles.. To claim victory over my life..
He has given me the life-giving keys that I need to free me from the things that keep me bound.. The keys are hidden in His Word (the Bible) empowered by prayer, and completed by the work of His Holy Spirit living in me.. Giving me a new found freedom and a hope so that I may share it with others.. Not only so that I may find my own way, but in the hopes that others might find theirs.. He has called me out of the darkness.. To be a bright and shining light for and to others..
I find peace and rest in knowing that through it all He was there.. Is there, still.. In the midst of it all.. My rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower (Psalms 18:2 ).. My ever-present help in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1).. He fights for me..continuously..
Never once have I ever been alone.. Even at times when I felt alone.. He was there.. Comforting me with His love and presence..
He is here…Even Now.. Speaking to my heart.. When I silently listen.. In stillness I hear… He says softly that I am worthy.. I am loved.. I am cherished.. I am valued.. I am forgiven.. I am redeemed.. And I am His.. And He is mine..
God has promised that He will never leave or forsake His children.. Knowing the Omnipresence of God, He is everywhere and He comes to us wherever and whenever we call on Him..
“I have called upon thee, for thou wilt hear me, O God: incline thine ear unto me, and hear my speech.” ~ Psalms 17:6 KJV
Words can’t adequately express just how eternally grateful I am for His love, mercy and grace..
Thank you, Lord…for loving me so.. And for making me your child.. I choose to walk the rest of my days in Your truth.. Knowing that through it all… You are there.. Walking beside me. Your, beloved daughter.