The Father I Never Had

There I am at the age of two
Playing with my doll as little girls do,

Sitting on the front porch with my mother.
Tear filled eyes that soak and cover,
Her face reveals sadness like none other.

How could he leave?
It’s hard to believe.
He chose not to stay.
Oh, how my mother prayed!

God, help me to understand.
This was not your plan.
The love of my Father
I have wanted for so long.
What did I do wrong?

Seeing other daughters with their dads-
Oh, such a huge part of me was missing.
Something I never had was those
precious moments of reminiscin’.

Asking myself Why?
Doesn’t He love me?
Why wasn’t I the apple of his eye?
The pain of his absence I cannot deny.

What if he had stayed?
Would I be different?
So many times I’ve prayed.
And God would answer and say,
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
You are not insignificant.

My earthly Father, no he wasn’t there.
The pain and hurt were so unfair.
In God, I found the strength and the love to bear.
The forgiveness in my heart I humbly share.

I’m grateful for the woman I have become.
I finally found my place in the ‘Son.’
I choose to live out His love
as the purpose of my life,
While reminding others that
His love will always suffice.

Whenever I start to feel sad
I remember how He has carried me this far.
Never will He abandon me or leave a scar.
His love makes my spirit glad.
He’s the Father I never had.

Love, Tina ~