THE MORE I SEEK HIM, THE MORE I FIND HIM

On, April 19, 2013, a couple years after I was saved, I wrote the following…

I was a new Christian and still trying to find my calling and purpose in this life. Even still today, I surrender daily to His leading as He continually guides me along the path He has set before me.

I share this with you in the hopes that it will reveal just a small piece of my heart, while traveling along my own personal journey. This is not intended for anyone other than myself and my personal growth and testimony. However, I am sharing it by my own choosing, along with an sincere and heartfelt prayer that it might be a blessing to you in your own walk and journey with the Lord.

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Those close to me say that I have changed.
My desires and wants are more clearly defined.
I expect more and I want more.
What’s wrong with that?
Less is no longer good enough.
Everything from my relationships to my walk with the Lord.
I may not deserve more, but it is okay to want more! Isn’t it?
I know that God wants to lavish His love upon me and give me desires of my heart.
I want to be inspired.
To inspire someone.
For my life to have meaning.
To give meaning to someone else’s life.
Some have said that this is just a midlife crisis!
To me – it is more like a midlife awakening.
An awakening of my mind, soul and spirit.
I want to mean something to someone.
To make a difference in others lives.
To say that I was here.
I don’t want to leave this earth with regrets and things left undone.
Words left unspoken.
I want to know that I had a purpose.
That I fulfilled the purpose and calling that God has ordained for my life.
To know that I touched someone’s life in a positive way.
I want to know that my feelings and thoughts and words were recognized, understood and validated.
I want to love without bitterness, resentment and anger.
I want to be loved for who I am.
I want to love others for who they are.
I want to feel like I am good enough.
To make someone else feel that they are good enough.
To share with others Christ love for them.
My heart longs to be a stepping stone for others.
To be a valued friend who supports and encourages others in their journey called life.
More importantly, my heart longs to lead others to salvation.
I want to be used by God.
To tell others about Jesus and His love poured out and demonstrated on Calvary’s cross.
Only God truly knows my heart and He is speaking to my heart, soul and spirit.
I have always known that God was there.
He has always been there, but I feel overcome by his presence.
The more I seek Him, the more I find Him.
His love is overwhelming me.
I pray that He will continue to lead and guide me.
My hope is that I can accomplish all that He expects of me in this life.
As long as I know God is for me, it doesn’t matter who is against me.
He is restoring, molding and making me whole.
Lord God, thank you for loving me and making me a new creation in your son, Christ Jesus.
Your, beloved daughter.